Making Difficult Decisions With our Parents Instead of For Them – Part III

 (Please refer to Blog dated 2/14/2012 for reference to Part II)

Realities of Being the Caregiver:

  • If a family member has been absent most of their adult lives- chances are they won’t run back to the fold in a crisis.
  • No one can tell you what you must do;  though they have the right to say what they won’t do either!
  • If you never got along with siblings there is no reason to believe that this will be a bonding experience- thought often times- it actually may.
  • Old family patterns die hard – the roles in the family will probably not change.

It is never okay to scream at your parents or speak in a patronizing tone.

  • In some cases, not getting help from other family members is a blessing – their involvement may be far worse than their apathy or estrangement.
  • If your parents never liked your spouse, don’t bring him/her along!

And the most important advice is for any kind of family discussion (no matter the age of the adults or children) is to:

Talk so your parents will listen. Listen so your parents will talk!

~ By, Barbra London, MSW, LCSW, LNHA