Making Difficult Decisions With our Parents Instead of For Them – Part II

 (Please refer to Blog dated 12/27/2011 for reference to Part I)

“Having the Conversation About a Difficult Decision”

Some of the bigger, more challenging conversations children have with their parents tend to be around issues of moving, finances, driving and accepting help at home.  No matter the topic, I hope you will find the following “tidbits” helpful:

  • Your parents may not agree with your observation or plan.
  • Your parents have thee right to make their own decisions- even bad ones, just like we do.
  • Always ask permission before making changes that affect your parents’ lives.

Even if you don’t agree- it’s good to start talking.

  • Be honest and clear about what you want – not what you think the other one wants to hear ( like selling the house, moving in with your sister, changing doctors, etc)
  • There is almost always more than one option to be considered – there are not always right or wrong answers- just good information to make a good choice.
  • Timing and patience are everything!
  • Today’s solution actually may not work tomorrow.
  • And though you may not want to hear this – sometimes you just can’t plan – a crisis or emergency my occur that finally forces the issue!  It will then become abundantly clear why it was worthwhile to at least “have the discussion” in advance.

Stay tuned for Part III when we will chat about the Realities of Being the Caregiver.

~ Barbra London, MSW, LCSW, LNHA